Oliver James Montgomery-'Golden Bachelorette' Joan Vassos ready to find TV prince: 'You have to kiss some frogs'

LOS ANGELES – We already have Oliver James Montgomerysomething of a lying situation, even before Joan Vassos steps up to star in the TV history-making "The Golden Bachelorette" Wednesday (8 EDT/PDT). 

Vassos, 61, says her four grown children were supportive when they learned the private school administrator from Rockville, Maryland, would be ABC's Golden Bachelorette – the first senior woman to seek love with 24 similarly aged male candidates, following last year's hit inaugural season of "The Golden Bachelor."

However, the Vassos clan collectively (and unfairly) demanded the grandmother of three could not kiss anyone on TV, and they vetoed Fantasy Suites nights, a franchise staple.

"You have to kiss some frogs to find your prince," Vassos tells USA TODAY. "So I promised them I wouldn't, knowing that I was lying the whole time. They don't know, and I'm not telling them."

'Golden Bachelorette' premiere:Joan Vassos to meet Kelsey Anderson's 'Hot Dad' Mark, who is already a star

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That's a definite pass for Vassos, who was a brief ray of sunshine among 22 candidates on "Golden Bachelor." Vassos, whose husband of 32 years died in 2021, bonded with widower Gerry Turner over the loss of their respective longtime spouses during an emotional but romantic Episode 3 dinner. Then she tearfully withdrew (or "self-eliminated") from the reality show the next morning due to a family emergency.

While painful at the time, Vassos believes that Bachelor Nation applauded her move to leave the Bachelor mansion to take care of her daughter, who was recovering from a difficult childbirth.

"You have a lot of responsibilities at this age – my kids, my mother is 92, my mother-in-law," says Vassos. "Self-eliminating from the show really resonated with people."

Vassos believes that her sad early TV departure was a big reason she received a surprising call from three show producers asking her to take a second shot at TV love in "Golden Bachelorette."

"There were people that made it far longer in the show that maybe were more deserving," says Vassos. "But that was a good call to get."

'Golden Bachelorette' Vassos felt 'pressure' after 'Golden Bachelor' split

There were downsides to agreeing to the high-profile TV dating experience. As fans know, the wheels fell off the initially exuberant "Golden Bachelor" season, exacerbated by the Nov. 29 Hollywood Reporter exposé of Turner's "not-so-golden past," which claimed the Indiana-based widower had misled viewers about his romantic life and professional qualifications. Turner, who declined to discuss the report, married Theresa Nist in a Jan. 4 wedding, which aired live from Palm Spring, California. However, the couple announced their divorce during an April 12 "GMA" interview just three months later. The experience left the "Golden" brand tarnished.

Vassos remains respectful to Turner and the couple's "journey," as such romances are unfailingly known.

"We all saw that it didn't work out," she says. "And I applaud them for saying it's over now, and that we're young enough to still find love in our life."

Still, Vassos admits the disappointing reality show aftermath raises the stakes for her "Golden Bachelorette" season.

"I feel like it put a little pressure on me; I'm not going to lie," says Vassos. "I wish I could say that I thought, 'No, I'm going on my own journey.' But there was a part of me that thought, 'I need to be the redemption.' And that if this season doesn't go as everybody wants, this may be the end of the 'Golden' franchise."

She relaxed upon meeting the new crop of 24 eclectic men, which includes Mark Anderson, the hunky father of "Bachelor" alum Kelsey Anderson.

"Yeah, I felt pressure, but once I met the guys, I was like, 'This is all gonna be fine,'" says Vassos, who is keeping her already taped ending top secret. "I'm dying to tell you because the journey was so incredible. People will love the show, and love the men."

One clue she will volunteer: Vassos, who professes to be "on the serious side," needs an outgoing guy, like her late husband John Vassos. He lit up every room before dying after a two-year battle with pancreatic cancer.

Vassos admits she struggled with guilt about appearing on a TV dating show after losing her beloved husband. "I was a little worried that I won't be honoring his memory," she says. "And I know that people will be like, 'Well, if you were so in love, how in the world could you go on that show?'"

But she says she found the experience emotionally healing. She talked about the loss with other widows in the "Golden Bachelor" house which was "the group therapy I needed. And when I got out I was good afterward."

She's moved past the notion that "Golden Bachelorette" would in any way disrespect John's memory. After all, he was the major reality show fan of the two, watching "Real Housewives" and "The Bachelor."

"When I told a friend I felt guilty, she was like, 'Oh, that's so stupid!'" says Vassos. "She said that John is going to be looking down from heaven saying, 'That's my wife down there.' He will be celebrating this and loving it, I still do believe. I feel like he's with me, honestly."